Childhood Bullying

How to help

By Dr. Larry Nickens, Goldsboro Pediatrics

Childhood bullying has become an undeniable factor for children growing up in today’s society. Bullying affects everyone. What was once assumed as tough love has turned into a cycle of physical and emotional abuse. Bullying in the United States has become magnified due to recent acts of school violence involving students carrying weapons into their school and pursuing their tormentors and innocent bystanders. Bullying is a serious issue. As a parent you have the ability to help stop the cycle of abuse between children.

There is a very big difference in finding out your child is being bullied vs. being the bully. There are positive ways to deal with each type of situation as a parent. Understanding the signs and behavior of both scenarios will help you to become aware if you child has a problem.

How to know if a bully is victimizing your child:

• Returns from school with torn clothing.
• Bruises, cuts, and scratches appear, but no rational explanation can be given for them.
• If the child feels afraid or hesitant to go to school in the morning.
• If your child chooses a different route to and from school.
• If the child has bad dreams or screams out in his/her sleep.
• If the child loses interest in his/her schoolwork and grades suffer.
• If the child appears sad, depressed, or shows unexpected mood swings.
• If you child seems socially isolated from friends.

How to know if your child is the bully:

• The child has a strong need to dictate and suppress others and threatens in order to get his/her own way.
• Intimidates his /her siblings or other children in the surrounding environment.
• Brags about his/her control over others.
• The child has a low frustration tolerance and is angered easily.
• The child has been caught cheating in school or during extracurricular activities.
• The child is defiant and has an aggressive behavior towards adults.
• The child is not social.

Children hurting children has become expected in today’s culture. Traumatic stories of school shootings have swayed the opinion of the media to placing the blame on the parent’s role in the life of their children. In order to mold children into responsible human beings there are a few things that can be taught at an early phase in their life in order to prevent them from ever entering the ‘bully” stage.

Listed below are positive suggestions on how to prevent bullying to children ages five to fifteen. (http://mvparents.com)

Birth to five…

• Separate yourself from a baby that bites or hits. Never bite or hit back to teach the baby a lesson.
• Supervise playtime. If children become agitated, step in and calm them or move them elsewhere to play.

Six to nine…

• Read books together about conflict resolution.
• Make sure as a parent to solve your own problems in a calm manner - no shouting or verbal abuse. Children easily pick up on what they learn from the adults in their life.

10 to 15…

• Support your children in developing positive friendships through school and extracurricular activities.
• Explain to children to stay calm when others are aggressive.
• Learn about your children’s friendships and lifestyles. The more you know, the more you can prevent an abusive situation from occurring.

The bullying epidemic has become a national problem. With an uproar of school violence only you as a parent can help teach your child the proper way to handle these types of situations. Help your children to understand that everyone has feelings and the proper way to handle being picked on. Also, always remember that a positive support system at home will teach your children the rights and wrongs of growing up. Children imitate what they see at home so learn be a positive role model for your children.

Childhood bullying is a major pandemic in the world today. As a parent learn to listen and understand what your children are trying to tell you, the first way to solving a problem is first understanding what it is. Through teaching and talking with your children and understanding who they are you can help to prevent the problem of childhood bullying from ever arising in your child’s environment. Through the tips provided help your children to understand the negative impacts that childhood bullying has on others.